The beginning is always the best place to start. But what happens when you don't know where the beginning is? Or was? Does anyone really know when their funk started?
It's sort of like when you find yourself squinting to see the chalkboard or the television -- and your mom likely noticed that first anyway. And then there's that fabulous moment when you step out of the eye doctor's office with your first pair of glasses. Wow, look at the leaves on those trees!
I remember the first time I started taking a low dose of anti-depressant. Well, I remember about two weeks later, when it started kicking in.
I could see the leaves on the trees.
But what really struck me was the color of the trees against the bluest of blue skies. And the clouds -- white, puffy, perfect clouds. I make a point to look out for those perfectly beautiful clouds. But some days are harder than others. Especially the days spent in pjs when the only glimpse of nature is behind a window screen.
I don't go outside every day. And this kills me slowly. See, I'm a social butterfly. I know that butterflies have a whole struggling thing to go through before they can become the supremely beautiful creatures they truly are. I've struggled plenty. Or maybe I haven't struggled enough. Either way, I miss the clouds. And the leaves. And the butterflies.
